Boil water: Fill a large pot with water and place over high heat. Salt generously, mix well, cover, and bring to a boil. While waiting for the water to come to a boil, make the sauce.
Make the sauce: To a high-speed blender, add the shallot, garlic, butter, cheese, nutritional yeast, vinegar, mustard, black pepper, and sea salt. Don't blend and set aside.
Cook the pasta: Once the water is at a boil, cook the pasta according to box instructions, until al dente. (Keep in mind that you will cook the pasta with the sauce, so don't overcook it! It needs to be slightly hard in the middle. ) Once the pasta is done, measure out two cups of the pasta water and add it to the blender. Drain the noodles and transfer them back to the pot. Set aside, uncovered.
Blend the sauce: Once the hot water is added to the blender with the other ingredients, cover and blend on high until very smooth, about 20 to 30 seconds.
Combine: Pour the sauce over the pasta and use a pair of tongs to toss well to coat evenly. Cook over medium-low heat for about 2-3 minutes, until the sauce is thick and creamy and the noodles are fully cooked to your liking.
Serve: Swirl a pile of noodles into bowls and sprinkle with shiitake bacon, a dusting of kala namak, and some additional freshly cracked black pepper. Enjoy immediately.